Sunday, January 31, 2010
the last breath
It can be a slow and quiet sigh
It can be an ear-piercing scream
But death, like a dream...
does not seem real
It is not something you can feel
It is rather
the absence
of something
of life
of breath
No circumstance or place inappropriate, it comes
when it wishes
It comes before you can give the good-night kisses
or before you can hang up the wet washing
or before you can write your thanks on a card
however we prepare
it is always abrupt
and cruel
No trial run or practice session
but is always there, in the background
waiting
for our predestined hour
to utter the last
silent
sigh
Maria
Sunday-night
The moon is a strange colour
The night has an eery sound
Premonition plumps the sun's distant cousin
round
what is bigger than death?
Our most fierce argument or wishes are
petty and trivial
and words... embarrassingly flimsy
against its finality
Nothing to say
Nothing to do
but a prayer of silence
we may offer
Maria
31 Jan 2010
Friday, January 29, 2010
Friday night
Monday, January 25, 2010
back
Thanks to the generous and tender care my husband bestowed on me while I was semi-unconscious with tummy-bug,
I am now back in the land of the living.
wonderful not to have pain
to eat whatever you feel like
to walk down the stairs without fear of fainting
Thank you, Doctor Perold
Thank you husband and friend, Chris
Now some dishes as I had Bible Study group at our house tonight.
M
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Wolseley
It is a small gem of a Breedekloof-village. dierbaar. Wholesome. It is the place where I can really let my mind roam, where the thoughts cannot escape beyond the mighty mountain-range. Before I go all soppy.. it is also the home of my mom & dad. The beginning and end of my life, the solid rock and the wispy cloud, the below and above.
I love that at 29 I can get back into bed with my book (in my mom's bed) and that she will join after she's watered her herb-garden. Life is beautiful.. and slow... and I don't want to go
I enjoyed lunch in Ceres with my youngest sister and stitched some hand-towels with my mom for a creché she is co-running in the poorer side-of town... everything is peaceful.
Maria
Friday, January 15, 2010
Friday morning at the taxi rank
Durbanville's wasn't quite as scary as Bellville's and I assume there were even more terrifying ranks of which I was unaware.
It was a place we had to visit weekly to get our darling Grace. Grace really was our home's saving grace on a Saturday-morning.
Scary place why?
It was full of noise, language and smell unlike anything my tranquil home resembled.
It was foreign.
This morning, 12 years later, I drove to the taxi rank to pick up Sanna.
Background for the reader:
The arrangement was that Sanna would help me out every second Friday, starting today. She has never been to Durbanville.We met in my office (where she pleaded for extra work as the cleaning-company she works for pays very little) She had instructions to get off at the Durbanville-Taxi rank and I'd be waiting for her from 07.45am - 08.15am. I explained that I had to leave at 08.15am, so as to NOT be late for work. And I even went further:
If I am late for work, I don't get paid (ok, not QUITE the solemn truth, but it drove the point across) and then I cannot pay her. So it works like a little domino-game.
I thought she got it.
From 07.45am to 08.15am, I had a very different experience than 12 years ago.
Firstly: it is colourfull. The ladies look amazing (traditional gear) and the garden -boys look fresh and energetic.
There is a definite social order/ranking to be noted:
A taxi-driver is the equivalent of a prince. They walk around like they own the region. The younger ladies who pitched up in the prince's carriage, waiting for their evil stepmom's to come pick them up, (sorry it was just too easy to say that) are the little princesses, who will grow up to be the queens of the estate. (Queens earn the best, as I later heard)
Another element to this scene which struck me, was the calm sort of orchestrated chaos. Ladies chatting, probably comparing the attitudes of their employers and how that translates into their pay-cheques, or talking about the kids, or the neighbours' kids, etc. The princes are trying to find the parking spot closest to the food-distributing caravan.
The caravan ( which cannot be roadworthy even if it tried ) is stationary and serves coffee and "pap and vleis" as I hear one prince asking the next if he wants some.
Some sit inside it like a gypsy café and others order from ( what I assumed was once ) the sleeping quarter's window.
But they look like a tight-knit community. Two princes are crouching (investigating something of concern under another's vehicle ) They look like two qualified mechanics: they debate and give advice.
In contrast: there are large 4X4- vehicles parked to one side ( they are also waiting for their Sanna's ) and there are slick sexy sports cars, also on the look-out from a Gucci'-framed view for THEIR Sanna's. But we all park away from each other (one empty parking space in between for courtesy sake, like in church) and the Sanna's are all chatting away, like sisters, standing closely together: sharing life.
fascinating
My Sanna didn't pitch, or her taxi broke down along Durban Road or I missed her with 2 minutes.Who knows.
But I gave another Sanna a lift to Murray-street, where she works 5 days a week for a "lazy madam" ( her words)
fascinating.
What a colourful morning all before 08.30am
cheers for now
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
i write to establish a rhythm
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Poem for Lizel
Whispers in your ear while she fans it.
Scorches away the warts and illusion
T’is the same angel holding out her hand
Balm of Gilead
Guides me through the furnace and ash
To the cool calm of daybreak
Again and again
For Lizel Stephen
Tuesday 12th Jan 2010
Something magical about a Tuesday... like it laughs in the face of Monday.
It does not have the century-old burden of "Monday"-ness to it.
___________________________ ________________________
I get up easier , I drive to work like a normal person (sticking to the speed-limits, giving way, etc) I even read some poetry before the first recon is due
To hang bare light bulbs from a ceiling
simple cord will always serve;
it's only the poet who must hang
by his glaring white spiral nerve.
- Andrei Voznesensky
Life’s instructions: breathe, eat, sleep, smile
Yet the modern man did not master even one of those
We think and move in a drunken haze and
collapse
puzzled
by the lack
of quality
of living
Maria Louw
Monday, January 11, 2010
from the little book my sister gave me for Christmas
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Poem
One mouth: word sound
One mind: opens
Let him who have ears; listen
let him who have words; speak
MLouw
the meaning of life...
Life is the meaning
and one should gracefully bow and thank
but I stomp my foot
and I want more
I yank the host's arm
and scream like a 7-year old
I want more
I want more
crazy and disrespectful
Maria
between me and you
Poetry on a Hot Saturday-morning
My language, my words
My tools, my bridge
from my heart and mind
to the next
colourful walkways between friends
highways at work
fantastical forest for soul mates
but your blunt and senseless
hammering of opposing words
the confusion you use
to chop at
the bridge of camaraderie
is
inexcusable
Maria Swanepoel
Weekend-memory
Lovely weekend spent walking around Stellenbosch with minor headache from dinner-party of the night before. ( My best friend got engaged and the rock on her finger sparkles with the same clarity as her beautiful mind. )
The thrill of the little decor-shops and tree-lined streets with its café - culture quickly rejuvinated me.
Lourendford Deli.
This is an exquisite chapter on its own. Good friends and good food. The stuff dreams are made of.
Thanks Ronel for hosting me.
It was great great Great.
I promised some poems... so they are on their way.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
I should always have an ee cummings poem at hand
of scheming how to beat the noblest game
a man can proudly lose,or playing dead
and hoping death himself will do the same
because you aren't afraid to kiss the dirt
(and consequently dare to climb the sky)
because a mind no other mind should try
to fool has always failed to fool your heart
but most(without the smallest doubt)because
no best is quite so good you don't conceive
a better;and because no evil is
so worse than worst you fall in hate with love
- human one mortally immortal i
can turn immense all time's because to why