write off

April was a bit of a write-off...
very stressful - retrenchments at work
Mom went in for a hip-replacement
friends going through rough & stormy seas
No-bonus declared
I canceled on a friend's wedding invite - flew to JHB - giraffe. impala, elephant, waterbuck, kudu, wilde beest, hippo, foxes, etc etc in Bakubung Bush lodge..
skin packing up and breaking up (out!)
husband working around the clock
not really sure if I'm coming or going
nor where I'm heading

imperfect love

frustration reaching out with calloused hands to
gently touch the loved one
only to hurt them with the
coarse blistery caress
well-intended hug only conveys disappointment and regret
etched into your skin
the broken world
imperfect

how then can you love perfectly
and share your heart's most pure intention
without getting a shard stuck in the others' ?







extract by Anaïs Nin:

"I am floating again. All the facts and all the words, all images, all presages are sweeping over me, mocking each other. The dream! The dream! The dream rings through me like a giant copper bell when I wish to betray it. It brushes by me with bat wings when I open human eyes and seek to live dreamlessly. When human pain has struck me fiercely, when anger has corroded me, I rise, I always rise after the crucifixion, and I am in terror of my ascensions. THE FISSURE IN REALITY. The divine departure. I fall. I fall into darkness after the collision with pain, and after pain the divine departure."

and my favourite sensual inspiration:

March days return with their covert light,
and huge fish swim through the sky,
vague earthly vapours progress in secret,
things slip to silence one by one.
Through fortuity, at this crisis of errant skies,
you reunite the lives of the sea to that of fire,
grey lurchings of the ship of winter
to the form that love carved in the guitar.
O love, O rose soaked by mermaids and spume,
dancing flame that climbs the invisible stairway,
to waken the blood in insomnia’s labyrinth,
so that the waves can complete themselves in the sky,
the sea forget its cargoes and rages,
and the world fall into darkness’s nets.

Pablo Neruda



how I wish this release
with you
for you and to you
how I yearn for this beauty to fracture your
glass cage
and let loose the
naturally
wild
animal which
you were meant
to
be



For him, from me

Love poem

two hearts which beat as one?
impossible
two thumb prints cannot perfectly meet
in absolute synchronicity
which you
aspire to
on your wedding day

Only to find the smallest difference
sets you further apart than
north from south
on your road
to
realisation
that all you have

is an attempt
a human
broken attempt
at meeting in the middle

but the road you walk on is cobbled with
trust and will
and determination

and the walking-stick: blind faith
that you'll get there



Maria