of mud and marriage... and midnight oil

"A system could not well have been devised more studiously hostile to human happiness than marriage." Percy B Shelly.

Extract when the author, Elizabeth Gilbert, glanced back to her grandmother's existence and marriage:
"They cut up the finest and proudest parts of themselves and gave it all away. They repatterned what was theirs and shaped it for others. They went without."

so perhaps this sounds very negative to you... it is certainly not a reflection of my own opinions or current thoughts, but they do make me think.

I have seen women (now in their 50's) sacrifice a lot of themselves and being stretched thin trying to be everything to everybody (demands of themselves are being made by their daughters, husband, friends, Bible-study members, PTA- members, etc)
I am just worried that I see no or very little nurturing...little private space/ time/ investment.

But the happy-ending is: we are young and self-sufficient and we have infinitely more options and choices.

We do not have to marry for food & sustenance nor to secure shelter or even for survival.
We marry because we want to.
Because it is special to share life and have witness to the small & large moments which make up an existence.

I hope you are with someone you adore.. someone who makes your day kind & soft & worthwhile.

Companionship.

I think that is more important than marriage.
I've seen too many empty, fractured and heavy marriages and I'd like to see more sustainable, enriching relationships... call that love.. call it what you want.

If your relationship is one of gladness and partnering... then if you call it a marriage or not:

I'm happy and grateful for you that you have that.

If your primary-relationship is limiting you, reigning you in, blocking you from becoming the blossom you're meant to be, then I hope you don't call that a marriage.
It is probably limited to a living-arrangement where the assets & liabilities have all morphed and dwindled into administrative red-tape.
You are probably too exhausted to try and unravel that arrangement; so you stay.
I hope that is not the case.


perhaps it is just Valentines' creeping closer ( I don't like that global soppy sorry effort and demeaning show of love)
or perhaps it is the book by Liz Gilbert: Committed.

or perhaps it is just warm and I've had little sleep the last two nights and my husband is in Mpumalanga for the week.

anyway- wishing you joy, gladness and kindness. m




pic by talented photographer who sells her work on Etsy.